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A 10th birthday… Harry Potter style!

My eldest daughter turned 10 on the 27th of this month! Time sure does fly and I cannot believe that I have a 10 year old now!! Certainly starting to wonder if I should start feeling old? LOL

She wanted a Harry Potter theme and I wasn’t surprised as we are major fans of the books and movies in this house! However, the party did prove to be a challenge to put together… how on earth was I going to achieve a Harry Potter theme?!?!…

I chose the cheats way out and hired “Harry Potter” to come and entertain the kids ;) and WOW what a huge success that was!! Everyone loved the experience. I can see us hiring him again in the not too distant future!

This cake was a huge hit with the kids! I had a few ask me to come and do their cakes for their birthdays LOL

Fun times for the birthday girl in the parachute!

Birthday girl with “Harry Potter”

All I can say was what an awesome performance and energy this guy had. The kids were all enthralled and had a blast!! And this means one more birthday for this year over and done with! Time to start planning the next one… ;)

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Meet our lizard friend “China”

China fast asleep on my chest.

China is a reptile native to the Central Australian Desert. Their common name is “Bearded Dragon”, they make for an interesting and unique companion. A special license is needed in order to be able to care for a Bearded Dragon of your very own. Even though they are extremely easy to care for and are very friendly and calm in nature, you still need to have adequate knowledge of this species in order to provide them with the best care possible. They require a terranium which must be hotter in one side and cooler in the other, their diet consists of different vegetables, fruits, flower petals, and also crickets, mealworms, cockroaches and mice. They love their water to be fresh and replacing it regularly throughout the day is in order. They live up to 15 years and grow up to 60cm so you would have your bearded friend with you for awhile :)

I was asked to care for “China” while her owners were away, she is only a baby and needed constant monitoring. I agreed and bonded with her so much that I am now in the process of getting a Bearded Dragon of my very own! My children love her and she is just too cute as far as I am concerned! When I care for her, she often falls asleep on my chest while place her on my chest. She tilts her head to the side when I walk past or talk to her, it’s just adorable!

This is China on her second visit. She looks so grown up compared to the first photo above.

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2012 is proving to be a year to remember!

My spiritual life has always been a side of my life that intrigues and confuses some people mainly due to the fact that I don’t follow a “traditional” religion. I’m more spiritual than religious in a way and follow the Pagan path and also believe in Thelema. I believe in many paths and mix and match to create my very own personal version of “religion” that aids me to connect and embrace divinity.

I have been studying world religions for many years now, I am fascinated with how others connect with the divine and their own set of rituals and customs. I have often felt that to truly understand another, one has to take a leap of faith and participate in others faiths as well and I have done so by going to different church events throughout my life. This has helped me develop an appreciation and tolerance for others beliefs.

My spiritual path is such that I am always learning new things, new philosophies, new rituals and again I find myself acquiring a new sense of respect for the human race and am at awe at what we do to connect with our “God” or “Divinity”.

In the end, the conclusion of all my studies so far has led me to one thing – that the core belief of every religion is the same. We all believe in something higher than ourselves. We just have a very different and unique way of connecting to that divinity. But none of those ways or religious beliefs are wrong. All are right and beautiful and should be respected. I have a huge admiration for anyone who chooses to devote their whole lives to their faith! Such a vocation requires an immense amount of faith, commitment and perseverance. It would not be an easy path and so, in my opinion demands the utmost respect.

This year has been one that I will remember forever. Many new spiritual experiences and my spiritual life is the main reason why I have been so quiet on here and haven’t been updating my faithful readers on what’s been happening in our multicultural life.

I have many spiritual commitments going on atm that sometimes my head feels like it’s about to explode! I have been immersing myself in literature, trying to meditate (as often as my 1 year old allows lol) and doing alot of contemplating and have also been busy enjoying some pretty impressive ritual experiences!!

There has been a shift in my spiritual progression with me experiencing 1 initiation already this year and I have another 2 initiations are in the works for me this year also.

“S” has been so patient and understanding throughout all this time. There’s regular meetings, study groups, events which mean that I am gone for most of the day and don’t get home until the early hours of the next morning. I am required to travel to the city for some of these while he stays home and takes care of the children for me. Never once has he complained about this! He has been incredibly respectful and knows how important this is for me and encourages me. I have a wonderful husband and feel very blessed :)

I’m rambling a bit about this and I do apologise if I am boring you all but this is such an exciting time for me and I wanted to share with you all what is happening behind the scenes so you understand why my blog is out of action for weeks on end. I try to be as active as I can and got a few posts coming up soon including a very special 10th birthday party which is taking place in less than 2 weeks time!

As always, thank you for taking the time to read my blog and for your continuing support. I love you all xo

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Does having mixed race children lead to identity crisis?… I don’t think so.

Hello everyone,  I logged on today expecting to see at least 100 spam comments awaiting my removal only to find 2 comments… 1 in particular which I have yet to approve has prompted me to post about it. Funny thing is that I had started a blog post (saved in my drafts folder about a similar topic) months ago lol.

This person has expressed his views on children of mixed race growing up with identity crisis due to them having “fair skin” and being given western names! He hopes that I: “actually raise the kid with some indian identity”.

Firstly, I am proud to be the wife of an Indian man!

We have a multicultural family. I am from Europe, my children (from my previous marriage) are European/Australian and they now have an Indian dad and an Indian/European brother and we all live quite happily in Australia surrounded by people from all walks of life and that come from all parts of this world!

We have embraced the Indian Culture, my daughters and I are learning Hindi. We cook Indian foods and celebrate Hindu festivals. Yes I admit, I haven’t been to India yet but this does not make  me  less of an Indian wife than those who have been to India or are living there. It does not make me appreciate the culture less or not want to involve my children in it.

I have bought books for my son on Hinduism and books on the Hindi alphabet so when the time is right he can learn to write in Hindi and grow to have an appreciation of his heritage and religious background. No one asked me to do this – I CHOSE to buy them because I believe it’s important for him to learn as much as he can about where he comes from.  Here is a photo of a couple of the books I have bought for him:

The same goes for his European background! I have books about Portugal, the history/language/and main religion which is Roman Catholicism.

I want my children to go to these countries and not feel alien. I want them to feel as though they have a connection to their background lands and to RESPECT them.

I realise that India has an obsession with “fair skin”, when I see Indian shows on tv I am amazed at the number of skin lightening creams advertised during the commercials but I fail to see why my son having fair skin is going to make him have “identity issues”. For starters, his whole family from India is fair skinned because they are from the himalayas! Trust me, he won’t feel out of place in front of them LOL

And YES my son has a Western first name!! My INDIAN husband and I chose it! He has an Indian middle name which we chose very carefully, it has a deep connection to where his father is from and also religious significance and no I won’t share it on here. If we had a girl, I wanted her to have an Indian first name and a western middle name. This has nothing to do with us having issues with the Indian culture or disrespecting it in any way shape or form. It was purely our choosing. We thought the names would suit and when he was born, we couldn’t think of any other names that would better suit him.

My son is not going to have an identity crisis because he has a western first name. He is being brought up to be proud and love his culture. I don’t see how this will make him be less “Indian” than other boys who have an Indian first name!

If people want to talk about “identity crisis” then perhaps instead of picking on my son they should question those who come from India, have an Indian name but choose to use a Western name when in Western countries!! Personally, each to their own. I don’t like to judge people but there is no denying that some do this. And then again, some who come from a full Indian background choose to give their children Western names.

What is so wrong with that??

My daughters don’t have Portuguese names. Does this mean that I am disrespectful of my home country? Of course not! It’s just a name.

Knowledge, respect and acceptance of one’s backgrounds does not come from how fair/dark your skin is and what names the children have. These virtues are bestowed upon children of mixed race by their parents and those around them who have a deep love and respect for their own countries.

So no, my son will not have an identity crisis! Neither will his sisters. We raise our children to be open minded, respectful and tolerant of all cultures, skin colour and religious backgrounds.

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Long Distance Relationships

Being a huge Twilight fan has nothing to do with me posting this video clip. I am totally in love with the lyrics of this song! As soon as I heard them for the first time memories of my long distance relationship with “S” came rushing back to me.

Long distance relationships are hard, they demand a higher level of commitment (in a way), not to mention Trust. Putting the fact that we were so different culturally aside, being in a long distance relationship sucked no matter what. We were apart from each other months at a time and could meet for a day or two once every 2-4 months… It was pure hell but we had it easier than others out there.

Communication was again the key to keeping us both sane. We were committed to keep in constant contact throughout the day, he would give me a good morning call – a 5min call that I treasured more than anything. We would then text during the day, chat online after work and he would call me at night until we fell asleep. This is how it was for us until we would meet face to face.

If for some reason this means of contact was broken, say for example we had to go out with friends, it would change things… we felt the distance between us more than before. We would miss each other terribly, I had never missed anyone that much in my entire life. There were times when we would disagree and the pain and fear this would bring each time was almost unbearable. It wouldn’t be such a big drama if we were closer but the fact that we were apart and couldn’t speak face to face or give each other a hug made it all the more difficult.

Most of our disagreements back then were due to the fact that we couldn’t agree on which one of us should make the move to live closer to the other and the great matter of me being so important to him and yet being a deep dark secret that he guarded with his life from his family.

I remember writing him a poem describing my loneliness and it had a profound effect on him. We were both feeling the same way. We both had the same fears… would he get sick of me and waiting and leave me and vice versa…

When I heard the song above and the words “One Step Closer” are being sung, I think this is exactly how it felt every day. As each day passed, I was one step closer to seeing him and one step close to being with him permanently.

I’ll never forget the first time he came to see me…

I was in the car with a friend of mine, we were driving to the airport which was an hour away from where I lived. I found it so surreal that here I was in a car headed toward the airport and he was already in the air on a plane down to see me… “One Step Closer”

We reached the airport, it was practically deserted or so it felt like. We couldn’t see anyone around! Definitely not what you would expect from an airport but I did live in the middle of nowhere ;) . We made our way to the big windows and waited… it felt like the longest wait of my life and with each minute that passed, I felt the butterflies in my tummy getting stronger and started to shake with nervousness and anticipation… Looking up to the sky, I noticed a bright light in open air… I wondered if that was the light from the plane… after a few mins the light got bigger and a few minutes after that, took on the form of a plane… his plane.

I watched what felt like in slow motion the plane come closer and land… by this stage I was jumping with excitement! The plane stops almost in front of where we were and I see the passengers step out of the plane, we start to make our way to the front of the entrance to meet him… again, I felt as though I was waiting for ever… watching everyone else came out but him… and then… I saw him! He looked up at me and smiled and looked down again as he continued to make his way to us. Gosh I missed him! He looked so handsome and I couldn’t believe that he had gotten on a plane and flew over to the country just to see ME :)

We gave each other a hug… no kisses in public! ;)

After that we travelled backwards and forwards to see each other but as always, the first times we never forget! I felt like the luckiest woman on earth… after enduring so much heartache to have this person who was willing to do whatever it took to stay with me was just… amazing. We treasured our meet ups because we didn’t have them often. Time went by so quickly when we were together.

Long distance relationships don’t always work out but they are worth every tear, every stress, every disagreement, every bit of effort. I’m not sure why I posted this but I couldn’t stop thinking about it and just had to share this special moment in our lives with you.

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Hmmm… Valentine’s Day?

So it’s Valentine’s Day… does your desi partner shower you with love and gifts on this day or does he do what mine does and claims he is Indian and therefore doesn’t celebrate it? ;)

To be honest, I’m not that excited about Valentine’s Day… never have been but it’s always nice to feel appreciated every now and then and on days like these it’s the perfect opportunity for our men to show us how much we are worth to them. I don’t normally get much so I’m not expecting anything today (mind you, I have been reminding him that the day was approaching haha)… still, not sure what he will do or get me.

I wonder if it’s normal for men to use their cultural backgrounds to get away from celebrating or feeling like they have to do these things?

Is it laziness on their part? or are they really against it and see no point??

I often say to “S” that he lives in the West and therefore needs to join in on our celebrations just as I would if I were in India. It’s not fair to expect me to give up on how I was raised or give up on the traditions I was brought up with because I am now married to someone who comes from a country where these holidays may not be as big as they are in the West.

I also married a man who isn’t overly romantic so chances of me having a GREAT gesture done today are slim and I’m not overly romantic either so yeah… we complement each other nicely BUT it wouldn’t hurt for just today to be extra romantic and do something special :)

I sent “S” a valentine’s day message via sms telling him how much I love him…

… and his reply:

“Same to you. love you too. Can you find my tie for tomorrow. Please”

Aaahhh can you just feel the romance??… LOL ;)

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The continuation of the birthday celebrations for our bubba boy

The birthday boy with daddy getting into the cake after we sang him Happy Birthday.

The birthday cake a friend of mine and I did for his birthday party! Turned out GREAT :)

He got spoiled rotten with many presents!!

Mmm caterpillar cupcake!

I still can’t believe he is one year old already! You would think for a mother of 3 that how quickly children grow up shouldn’t surprise me but the truth is that it gets me every time!

Our little Master had a great birthday, lost of chocolate cake and presents. There were alot more photos taken but in order to protect the privacy of others I haven’t added them on here.

Next birthday party will be in April… better get started on planning my daughters 10th birthday!! LOL… the fun never ends in this household ;)

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Don’t be afraid to disclose your measurements! Lesson learnt.

I have been meaning to finish up this post for awhile but as usual, life gets in the way ;)

My MIL brought me some goodies from India, I was so excited when she told us about it because I’ve never been to India and so when I get things from over there it’s just as good as a visit (for now anyway lol). I was slightly worried when she said she bought clothes… I’m a big girl and I haven’t told her my measurements yet so I knew for sure that the clothes would be too small even though she knew I was on the bigger side…

When the package finally got to us (long story!), there were clothes for our son and I got a full suit and a single white/green kameez which are unfortunately too small for me… but so beautiful that I must try and lose weight in order to fit into them. I also got bangles and bindis… the bangles don’t fit due to my wide hands and I adore the bindis! I was very pleased with my presents and glad my MIL’s tastes are very similar to mine *phew* ;)

The black and purple suit in particular is stunning! The photograph doesn’t do it much justice… the bead and bling work is gorgeous and there’s more of it on the back of the kameez. I’m going to order a suit soon and will make sure to note down the measurements for my MIL so when she wants to send me clothes from India, they should fit!

If there’s anyone out there that has yet to muster up the courage to let their in laws know their measurements, please tell them!! I have learnt my lesson! I now want to wear what my MIL bought for me and I can’t :(

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Baby boy turns 1!

It’s hard to believe that this time 1 year ago I had just had my baby boy… I was totally consumed by his beauty and how tiny he was… I was counting my lucky stars that even after having gone through a high risk pregnancy and an emergency c/section, I was now holding my newborn son – one of life’s most rewarding and challenging experiences – to be a Mother :)

Our little Master has had a quiet day for his birthday, he slept through most of it! He has his birthday party on Sunday and I will make sure to share a few piccies with you all.

Below are a couple of photos taken this morning after my girls and a friend helped make his first birthday cake! He like many before him, cried when we were all looking at him while singing happy birthday haha. I had to blow out his candle… poor bubba was too traumatised and had no idea what he was supposed to do!

Yum! Chocolate cake.

Want some? ;)

Going back in time through piccies… this is what he looked like after he was born.. and the one below is of him now. Look  at how much he has changed!!

Bubba boy – 4hrs old

Bubba boy – 1 year old

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New year, new celebrations

Life has been busy for us over these holidays and this year for me is going to be an eventful and busy one! So many new adventures to be had, new experiences, new friends and on the Desi side of things, we are getting ready to organise things for my in-laws to come and stay with us for a few months!

I celebrated my 31st birthday earlier this month and in a few short days will be celebrating my son’s 1st birthday :) … the beginning of this year has brought with it many celebrations. Hubby was busy last year applying for new jobs, trying to move up the corporate ladder without much success… he had the experience and background needed for the positions but kept getting knocked back which made for a very depressed and stressed out hubby and in turn - family in general. Our luck however took a much neede turn and we are now celebrating hubby’s successful interview and new job starting in several weeks time!! Finally he got the break he needed and our lives will change for the better very soon :)

Another thing worth celebrating is my health. I have been in good health for weeks on end and for someone with a chronic health condition this is a much welcome change and one I don’t take for granted. To feel normal without any aches and pains is beyond words! The freedom I feel is liberating :)

My munchkins start school again soon… part of me will miss them and our sleep ins but another part of me is very much looking forward to the quiet time again. I need to get back into meditating and with children always at each other’s throats and other distractions they bring, makes meditating almost impossible to achieve lol

“S” and I have been getting quite close to each other, these Summer holidays proved to be just what we needed… we bonded and very well. I am starting to believe that our problems in the past were mainly due to not only miscommunication but also the added stress of him not being happy with his work and feeling like he wasn’t being given a fair chance to progress career wise within that company made for one very unhappy puppy and I can now see the change in him regarding work and the general positive effect it’s had on everyone.

“S” is very keen to have his parents over here with us for awhile and so am I to be honest. I want them away from all the family’s dramas and want them to enjoy being with their grandson. I feel sorry for them being all alone and especially now with the freezing cold temps Kullu brings in Winter. The water taps are frozen and the only way they can get fresh water is from the council bringing a truck with water for everyone to collect it. “S” and I were talking about the challenges they face at this time of the year over there and he said that while he lived there, this all seemed normal but now, he sees how hard life is especially for an elderly couple being all alone. SO… I can’t wait to have them here, it won’t be as cold as it is in Kullu and they will be at peace and hopefully comfortable and happy. I’m sure their visit will bring new realisations and challenges but I will cross that bridge whe the time comes. For now, I am looking forward to meeting my Indian mummy and daddy.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I do have a few blog posts half finished in my drafts folder… I will endeavour to get to them. Just need an extra 10hrs in my day first haha ;)

I think I have updated you all on what’s been happening these last few weeks. Sorry for being so quiet but hopefully you can understand why. I hope this blog post finds you all well and happy :)

Stay tuned for my bubba boy’s first birthday blog post coming soon!!!